Today I am slightly senti n pensive mood.

Sometimes I think that why do I or for that matter anyone puts in so much of hard work, fighting initially for existence and then for sustenance and finally for maintainence of things one can do without. when I was in 12th standard, i used to imagine myself with a small decent job that could bring home all the basic things of daily life, no great money- small and happy family life. I never wanted a very high profile life-style. Few months from now, I will be in a position where i will have a lot of responsibilities to share.

Will there be the comfort I always looked for? Doing whatever and whenever I wanted? Will that flexibilityand freedom in life still exist?

On the other end, I will learn more, experience different shades of life, meet and deal with different people and earn good money. With responsibility I can display my skills (whatever i have) and rise the ladder... maybe i am happy with it, I am not clear on it..
But certainly, materialism has taken precedence to goodness. Today I see oppurtunism prevailing around. Unknowingly, even I am affected by it.

I really miss my childhood days...
I really miss the long walk-talks with friends, laughing more on myself than on others, recollecting my childhood and sharing - stupidities i did with my friends, punishments i got from my parents, masti i did in school, pranks I played with the teachers, vowing ever-lasting friendship and sharing with friends about my crushes.

Koi laute de woh kagaz ki kashti, bachpan ki masti, woh baarish ka pani...

CAT recently passed by. I could not feel any pulse of the same this time as i am completely out of touch with that phase. But that reminded me of the time when I wrote CAT.

I sincerely suggest that each one of us should take CAT once. Success or failure is im-material. I personally learned quiet a lot from not only the exam but, also from the pre- and post- psyche I developed about myself. Although not much was at stake , as i was working with Infosys ready to leave for aussie, but then the aura of IIM was quite intense not to reflect the radiance.

Initially, I was desperate about making it into that league, which eventually shaped into a requirement. By the time CAT was about a month to go, it was more of a necessity (no offence to the IT workload...). The idea was to re-visit the college life and to experience the IIM culture. Not to mention the idea of tussion-ofying the IIM tag to my colleagues..:)

The thrill of attempting DI with lightning fast calculations, with the aperture of mind getting only a few min. to precipitate the content of the caselet was electrifying. Quant section with the brain teasing questions twisting the already convoluted mind, pitched better than a googly. verbal section which always made me feel why did i read raj comics (err..dont didn't you get...i mean our very own Nagaraj and super commnado dhruv...) and Manoj comics (rajan-iqbal and bankelal...:) instead of the firang language rich literature, facilitating me appreciate the comprehensions more...

I could never join a coaching due to work load, but i always competed with my flat mate and few of his friends, who used to come over to our place. also teher was a girl amongst them, beautiful indeed....So, another reason that makes me nostalgic about the entire episode.;-)

The second phase of Gd/PI was quite daunting for me as i could not join any coaching again, but only could discuss with my flatee (by the way that girl did not recieve a call). I never had much to speak on any topic, not even discussing my interests. So I had to draft my hobbies and gather info on them ufff... I got entangled in my own points and could not defend a stand on abstract questions. BUt then the learning process was on in re-discovering myself, bridging the pot-holes in my personality and removing a layer of scaly-waste covering my core. But i must confess i did learn to speak only then. Those who know me will certainly appreciate that.

Anyways, coming back to the point(i guess i made one...) I wish all the best to all those who have ghisoed hard, magofied the quant fundas and the specimen questions, ratofied the barron's list and have migrined hte heads of their family, friends and teachers.

"The process is more important than the product, that's where the LEARNING takes place"

I seldom think, what is it that i really like? Something that really excites me, something that can bring out the best in me, something to which i can commit my lifetime. Education as they say provides one with thoughts and words for things which are otherwise not fathomable. Unfortunately, I feel even more confused having the same. Maybe I am a non-conformist, as some of my friends say... :)

Anyway, my first post on the blogger's world. Findmyself worthy of some introduction-
ANKIT JAIN, a management student, simple and sober, adjusting and understanding, open and broad minded. Friends say "He is clicking, considerate, senti-types, slightly stupid and quite unpredictable with what's up on his mind". Enemies ( hopefully i have a few ...) find no competition etal...:).

I think after giving a lot of gyaan during CAT interview about career goals, now when its time to decide, i find myself stymied. That stability of mind seems to be lost in a far grown jungle, with wild bushes creeking crazy noises...At one end is a materialistic corporate job with fat bundles of bills tuked in all the pockets, and the other is a dream that i had earlier seen with someone (who no longer exists in the same form) of opening a school where students will be given a different platform to think for themselves, express themselves, where creativity is not hollowed by bags full of books to be rattofied and vomited during tests, where they would have options to choose their likings, where interests will be developed in true sense to be called as hobbies where passion will be fostered and nestled.

I am not too sure what i will decide for myself. I guess need some more time and definitely some ray of light and confidence to see that ray at the end of the long vacuumy tunnel.

I firmly believe, "GOD exists and will take care that good happens by the end."